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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27705659">Leverage Meets COVID-19</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacy073/pseuds/Lacy073'>Lacy073</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Leverage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:27:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,686</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27705659</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacy073/pseuds/Lacy073</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Leverage team is forced to quarantine together during the pandemic.  What could go wrong?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, Nate, I think we’re going to have some issues with the job.”  Hardison was sifting through his computer, muttering to himself.  <br/>	“What do you mean, issues?” Nate sat straighter on the couch and dropped the newspaper he was reading into the crack between the cushions.  <br/>	“You remember that pandemic nobody took seriously?” <br/>	“Yeah?” <br/>	“Well, it’s here.  Like, now.”  <br/>	“What do you mean, it’s here?” Nate stood and came to lean over Hardison’s shoulder.  <br/>	“Dude… personal space.  Especially now.”<br/>	“What the hell is going on, Hardison?” Nate demanded.  <br/>	“The government has issued a ‘shelter-in-place’ order for the entire state of Washington.”<br/>	“What’s that?” Parker came through the door, chewing on a bagel.  She slammed the door behind her and flopped across Nate’s couch.  <br/>	“It means we can’t go anywhere.  Businesses are closing.  So are schools.  You can’t even go to the freakin library.” <br/>	“So, museums and stuff are closed?” Parker sat up.  That meant there’d be significantly less security. <br/>	“Yeah, but you can’t steal anything.”<br/>	Parker rolled her eyes.  Rules never stopped her before. <br/>	“How serious is this, Hardison?” <br/>	“Pretty damn serious.” <br/>	Hardison’s mouth hung slightly open.  He was about to answer when Eliot took the words for him.  Eliot slammed Nate’s front door, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and sat on the couch, Parker squirming out of the way.  <br/>“What is it?” Nate asked.  Him and Hardison were struggling to see the computer screen, Hardison backing away from Nate.  <br/>“It’s a virus.  A pandemic.  Deadly disease that you can breathe in.” Hardison flipped the switch to project his laptop to the computer screens set up to keep his teammates from looking over his shoulder. <br/>“Run it, Hardison,” Nate said. <br/>“What, you think I already have all the info ready and prepared, with speaking notes and,” <br/>“Dammit, Hardison,” Eliot growled.  <br/>“Yeah, yeah.  Ya’ll don’t realize how lucky you are to have me around.  No appreciation from ya’ll.  None at all.” <br/>“Hardison.” <br/>“Okay.  It’s a new virus called COVID-19 because it was first discovered in 2019.  It comes from China, a city named Wuhan specifically.  Symptoms are fever, cough, and shortness of breath.  It can kill anyone, but is more dangerous for older people.  Death rate is undetermined, but something like 3-4%.” <br/>“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Parker said. <br/>“3% is still over nine million people, Parker.” <br/>Parker looked at her hands.  Brushed crumbs from her fingertips.  <br/>“So what do we do about it?” Nate asked. <br/>“We stay home.  Don’t have any visitors.  No friends, no family.  Don’t go to the store, nothing.” <br/>Parker looked at Hardison.  “Can we still steal stuff?” <br/>The answer of “no” was unanimous.  <br/>“Now,” Hardison continued, “we gotta decide if we’re sheltering-in-place together or separate.” <br/>“Nate!” <br/>All eyes turned to the staircase.  A hardly-dressed Sophie was on her way down, clearly having heard nothing.  She looked up through a mess of wild hair.  <br/>“Goodness!  What’s going on here?” <br/>“Pandemic.” <br/>“Okay, well I’m just going to…” Sophie turned around and all but sprinted up the stairs.  Eliot chuckled softly.  <br/>“So?” Hardison asked.<br/>“Can anyone besides Eliot cook?” <br/>“Good point.   We go shopping, and we grab whatever you need from your homes, and we stay here until this blows over.” Nate hit the off button on the remote.  The TV screens whistled and powered down.  <br/>“Do we all have to go?” Parker asked. <br/>“Yeah.  We aren’t leaving until it’s safe, so we need everyone’s help getting supplies.  Eliot, can I count on you to get medical supplies?” <br/>“I’ve got some at the safe house.” <br/>“Okay, we’ll pick them up on our way back from the store.” <br/>“We’re going shopping?” Sophie reappeared, this time dressed properly in a loose blue top and white jeans.  <br/>“Grocery shopping.”  Nate was gathering his things, stuffing his wallet and keys into his pockets.  <br/>“Someone want to tell me what’s going on?” <br/>“The pandemic that no one took seriously is actually a big deal, and we have to go grocery shopping because we’re all staying at Nate’s until it goes away and we need food.”  Parker opened the kitchen closet and pulled out a stack of reusable grocery bags.  <br/>“Who’s driving?” <br/>“I am.”  Eliot and Nate said at the same time.  <br/>“Yeah, cuz we’re all gonna fit in that little sports car of yours, Nate,” Parker said. She skipped out the apartment door, swinging the grocery bags behind her.  <br/>“Are we really going to put ourselves through being cooped up with her?” Sophie asked as the rest of the group made their way outside. <br/>“We don’t have much of a choice.  If we leave her alone, she sure as hell ain’t gonna follow protocol.  And she’ll probably starve to death.”<br/>The team piled into Eliot’s pickup.  Sophie sat up front with him, with Parker, Nate, and Hardison stretched out in the bed of the truck.  <br/>“Where are we going?” <br/>“Walmart.” <br/>“Are you kidding me? That’s not even a grocery store.”  Eliot slowed to a stop to let a couple pushing a stroller cross the road. <br/>“It is now,” Nate said, sticking his head around the truck to talk through Eliot’s open window.  “We don’t have much time, and we need to get other things while we’re there.” <br/>“Oh! Like what?” Parker asked. <br/>“Beds.  Medical stuff.  Cleaning supplies.  Stuff to do.” <br/>“Booze.”  <br/>Nate ignored her.  <br/>Eliot reluctantly pulled into the Walmart parking lot and killed the engine.  <br/>“Um, guys, is it okay if I just stay in the truck?” <br/>“Why?” <br/>“Cuz there’s like germs in there, and I don’t wanna get sick.”  Hardison looked like they were asking him to jump headfirst into an Ebola hospital.   <br/>“We need everyone’s help for this, Hardison.” <br/>“Here, wear this.”  Eliot tossed Hardison a black bandana. <br/>“Cuz the world needs any more reminders that we’re criminals,” Hardison said, but tied the cloth around his face.  He’d be damned if he caught this freakin plague.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Inside the store, the crew stared. Most of the shelves were nearly empty.</p><p>"What happened?" Hardison asked, adjusting the bandana on his face.</p><p>"It ain't gonna work if you keep <em>touching </em>it," Eliot said. He spun the hacker around and tied the cloth firmly behind his head.</p><p>"Panic buying. People are worried they won't be able to get what they need, so they're hoarding stuff like freaking squirrels or something," Sophie said.</p><p>"Well, we're going to get what we can. Everything else, Eliot can improvise."</p><p>"Eliot can <em>what?</em>" Eliot repeated, but Nate had already gone ahead of him.</p><p>"Can we get this?" Parker asked, holding up a truly impressive bag of Froot Loops.</p><p>"No," Nate said. At the same time, Sophie said, "Of course." They glared at each other. Parker shrugged and tossed the bag into the cart.</p><p>They continued on through the store, gathering pasta, meat, bread, and vegetables. Eliot complained that nothing was fresh. Parker managed to get Nate and Sophie to buy her a box of poptarts, some super-spicy Asian dish, and a gallon of milk to go with her Froot Loops. Hardison put four twelve-packs of orange soda in the cart, before Eliot pointed silently to the sign above them.</p><p>"Wait, they put a limit on my <em>orange sodas</em>?" Hardison squeaked. "How can they even <em>do </em>that?"</p><p>"Yeah, because your lack of carbonated sugar is our biggest concern in the middle of a pandemic." Nate rolled his eyes while Hardison mourned the loss of two of the twelve-packs.</p><p>"Are we done?" Sophie asked. She was getting impatient, picking at the grocery list. She may have been notorious for her shoe collection, but the thrills of grocery shopping were entirely lost on her.</p><p>"Did we get any eggs?" Eliot asked, scanning the list.</p><p>"They didn't have any," Parker said. "Except the gross brown ones."</p><p>"Parker they're the exact same-" Eliot started, but then stopped. There was no point in arguing with her. He simply turned around and headed to the dairy section. Parker followed him, intent on explaining why she was right.</p><p>"We need to get the cleaning stuff still, and we need at least one more place to sleep. Maybe two, if Hardison and Eliot don't kill each other sharing." Nate turned Sophie and Hardison around towards the home area.</p><p>"Wouldn't count on it," Hardison muttered.</p><p>"So two places to sleep."</p><p>"I'll sleep in the closet," Parker said. She came skipping up to the cart, Eliot following close behind with two cartons of brown eggs in his hands. He placed them carefully in the cart.</p><p>"What are we doing in the <em>bedding </em>section?" he asked.</p><p>"We need two more places for people to sleep. Nate has his bed, and a guest room, but there's no room for you and Parker to sleep," Sophie explained.</p><p>"Wait, why does Hardison get the guest bedroom?"</p><p>"Because I happen to be the most important, understated, overlooked member of-"</p><p>"Shut up, Hardison."</p><p>"Guys, we should go. It's starting to get crazy in here," Parker said, just as an older lady shoved her out of the way to get to some $2 fuzzy blankets.</p><p>"Agreed." Sophie jumped out of the way of someone reaching for hand soap in the aisle behind them.</p><p>The team made their way to the checkouts, picking up a couple bottles of scotch, some wine, and a case of beer on the way. Nate ignored the disapproving glances he got from Eliot, even though, as Nate longed to point out, the beer wasn't even his. No way he was going to get through this without a little <em>something.</em> Especially with a cooped up Parker on his hands. No one could handle that sober.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I'm so <em>bored,</em>" Parker whined. She was laying across the kitchen table, her head hanging upside down over the edge. She had a sketchbook in her hand, but had given up drawing after she'd drawn everyone more than once.</p><p>"I'm gonna kill her, Nate, I'm gonna kill her," Eliot said. He was seated in his chair in Nate's living room, a beer in one hand and a book in the other. He was trying to focus on his reading, but Parker's constant complaining was driving him insane.</p><p>Nate looked up from his newspaper. Sighed. Decided it was best to not get involved. Went back to reading about the thousands of new COVID cases across the nation.</p><p>"Nate, can't we even go <em>outside?</em>" Parker asked. She jumped off the table and perched on the armrest of Eliot's chair. They'd been inside for almost a week now, and she was going positively <em>insane. </em>He did his best to ignore her, but it was… difficult.</p><p>"From what I've been reading, it wouldn't be the <em>worst </em>thing in the world to go outside. Might even prevent some deaths," Hardison said. He was seated across the room, absorbed in some inane game that consisted of zombies and <em>largely unnecessary </em>machine guns.</p><p>"Great! So I can go-" Parker started, but Nate cut her off.</p><p>"We're gonna have dinner soon, so nobody's going anywhere."</p><p>"Ooh." That got her attention. She hopped off Eliot's chair and skipped into the kitchen. She began throwing open the refrigerator and cabinets. "What're we eating?"</p><p>"Dunno. Whatever Eliot's making," Nate said. His attention had not left the reading.</p><p>"I ain't making you nothin'," Eliot said.</p><p>"What? Why not?" Parker stopped rummaging through the fridge to look at him.</p><p>"Cuz it's time ya'll learn how to make your own damn food," Eliot said.</p><p>"How are we gonna do that?" Hardison asked. He shut down his laptop, and joined Parker in the kitchen. He opened the fridge, frowned at the amount of vegetables and lack of orange soda, and closed it. He thought it was a disgrace that the fridge wasn't full of his stuff.</p><p>Eliot set down his book. If there was any time to teach the team how to cook, it was now. If he didn't, he'd be the one cooking every meal for the next few years. At least. He enjoyed cooking almost as much as he did punching assholes, but the others needed to learn sooner or later.</p><p>"Where's Sophie?" Eliot asked.</p><p>"Upstairs."</p><p>"Can you get her? I'm not gonna do this four times."</p><p>"Sooooophie!" Parker yelled, roughly aiming her head up the stairs.</p><p>"I meant, <em>go </em>upstairs. I coulda," Eliot started, but stopped. There was no use.</p><p>A few moments later, Sophie came gracefully down the stairs, carrying an impressive stack of water glasses. Apparently she'd been collecting them. "What's going on down here?"</p><p>"Eliot's gonna teach us how to cook," Parker offered.</p><p>"Well, I was sort of in the middle of a book," Sophie said. "I know how to cook."</p><p>"Really? Then maybe you wouldn't mind helping me teach these guys," Eliot said, smiling slightly. He knew he was the only one that had any idea how to make more than mac-n-cheese.</p><p>"Well, now that you mention it, I guess I could brush up on my skills just a little." Sophie set her stack of glasses on the kitchen counter.</p><p>"What are we making?" Parker asked.</p><p>"I was thinking something comforting. How about lasagna?"</p><p>"Doesn't that take, like forever to cook?" Hardison asked.</p><p>"About 3 hours, if I were doing it myself. With all ya'll, probably closer to 4 and a half," Eliot said.</p><p>"That's way too long. I'm hungry <em>now,</em>" Parker said. She pulled a cookbook from one of the higher cabinets and began flipping through it. "How about this?" she asked after a few minutes.</p><p>Eliot bent to look over her shoulder. Parker's finger was jammed into the entry marked <em>Homemade Pizza.</em></p><p>"The cooking time is only 25 minutes," she said. She looked across the page. "40 for preparation."</p><p>"So, hour and a half," Eliot muttered.</p><p>"Do we have all the ingredients for that?" Sophie asked. She settled onto one of the barstools and took the cookbook from Parker to look through.</p><p>"We have ingredients for the crust for sure. Might have to improvise on the toppings though. Parker, can you see if there's shredded cheese?"</p><p>Parker swung open the refrigerator door and rooted around the crispers. She pulled on a bag that was stuffed underneath a net of onions and other <em>healthy </em>crap. It must have been shoved into the plastic of the crisper, because it came unstuck suddenly, and the force of her pull knocked her back on her butt, the cheese bag flying over the island to smack Sophie right in the face.</p><p>"Parker!" she cried.</p><p>"It was stuck," Parker said. She jumped up to retrieve the cheese. Luckily, it was unopened. She turned to Eliot. "There's cheese! <em>Lots </em>of cheese."</p><p>"Good. I think there's some sausage in the freezer. Hardison, can you look?" Eliot felt like a parent of a group of unruly 10 year olds. But, he had to admit it was going better than he thought it would. So far.</p><p>Sophie noticed Nate was still sitting on the couch. She reached for a piece of scrap paper from the recycling bin, wadded it up, and threw it at the back of his head. She missed, horribly.</p><p>"Like this," Eliot whispered. He crumpled another piece of paper, took aim, and shot Nate straight in the head. He ignored it.</p><p>"Let me try," Parker whispered. She grabbed another crumpled paper and tossed it in Nate's direction. It sailed over his head, landing right in his glass.</p><p>Nate whipped his head around, trying to catch the culprit in the act. He hadn't been paying enough attention to remember who was whispering to who. The team, though, seemed to be heavily involved in the cooking process. Eliot was gathering ingredients from the cabinets and lining them up on the island. Hardison was rifling through the freezer, complaining about the cold. Parker and Sophie were bent over the cookbook.</p><p>"Parker," he warned, taking his best guess.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Were you throwing paper?"</p><p>Parker looked at Sophie. If he hadn't spent so much time with them, Nate might have missed it. But he knew that look. It was Parker's signature "help me lie" look. Nate set down his reading and his papery glass, and joined the team in the kitchen.</p><p>Eliot didn't turn around to look at him, but smiled to himself.</p><p>"I'm just sittin' here to make sure you don't wreck my kitchen," Nate said. He settled himself on the barstool next to Sophie and reached for the cookbook. "What ya making?"</p><p>"Pizza," Parker supplied.</p><p>By now, Eliot, Parker, and Hardison had all the ingredients they needed spread out over the island. Eliot had sorted them between crust, sauce, and toppings. He was showing Parker how to stir the ingredients for the crust together properly, and Hardison was following the recipe for the pizza sauce.</p><p>Nate excused himself and went to the corner of the living room where his stereo sat. He fiddled with the knobs until a quiet easy listening tape flowed through the speakers. He smiled to himself. That was better.</p><p>Back at the table, Sophie watched the younger members of the team getting along. More than just tolerating each other, they were working together. Eliot took Parker's hand in his, showing her how to use a butter knife to measure the flour. She giggled as flour puffed in front of her, spilling some on Eliot's shirt. He smiled and left her alone to keep measuring.</p><p>Over by Hardison, Eliot watched quietly as he measured each ingredient precisely according to the recipe and mixed them together. When everything was mixed, he watched Hardison carefully pour the mixture into a pot to cook. They were all better at this than they thought, if they'd only slow down enough to try.</p><p>The movie <em>Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory </em>played on the TV screens. Hardison, Eliot, and Parker sat on the couch, their eyes glued to the screens. Dishes clanged in the background as Nate and Sophie finished cleaning up after dinner was done. There wasn't nearly the mess they expected there to be- just the dishes and some flour on the floor. Sophie caught Nate's hand as he was putting a particularly gross dish into the dishwasher. He looked up at her.</p><p>"Nate, you did it," she whispered.</p><p>"Did what?"</p><p>"You made them a family."</p><p>Nate didn't say anything. She was right. He had a family. His "children" were crazy thieves, and he'd only known them a short amount of time, but they had become his family, his people. There was nothing they wouldn't do for each other. He turned back to the dishes, but Sophie didn't miss the careful smile he allowed himself.</p><p>Parker considered her pizza carefully. The crust didn't turn out to be quite right, and there was <em>way </em>too much cheese on her slice. She pulled at the extra cheese with her fingers, and placed it carefully on the edge of Eliot's plate. He'd already eaten his slice. Hardison leaned against them on the couch, his pizza gone too. He had an orange soda in his hand, one of the few he had left. Eliot picked up the sticky glob of cheese deposited by Parker on his plate and put it in his mouth. She turned around, just a bit, to smile at him. He rolled his eyes at her.</p><p>She took a bite of the pizza. It tasted perfect.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Parker, I swear to <em>God </em>if you don't stop," Hardison sighed. He dropped his head on the table.</p><p>"You shouldn't try to play cards with a <em>known thief. </em>That's like, card playing 101."</p><p>"You could play by the rules for once in your life," Hardison muttered.</p><p>"Like you've ever played by the rules. The rules are dumb. They're only there so people like me can't get ahead. Like you. Like us. They' re stupid."</p><p>"I meant the rules <em>of the game. </em>Parker. What fun is playing Rummy 500 if you don't follow the rules?"</p><p>"You shoulda known that about me." Parker dropped her hand on the table, face up. She had five cards: The Queen, King, and Ace of spades, the two of hearts, and the three of clubs. She already had a set of threes and a set of aces laid down, and there were two twos in the discard pile.</p><p>Hardison, on the other hand, had eight cards: two sixes, the eight of diamonds, the king of clubs, two fives, and a seven and a nine of different suits. He'd only laid down a 15 point run. He knew damn well it was more than just rotten luck.</p><p>"Damn, girl, now we gotta start all over."</p><p>"No we don't. Make Eliot play with you. I quit."</p><p>"Eliot's not even here."</p><p>"Well go find Sophie then."</p><p>"I'm not gonna," Hardison started. Then he stopped. Looked at Parker perched on the barstool. Saw her smug expression. Entire <em>lack </em>of remorse. And did the first thing that came to mind.</p><p>"Hey!" Parker screeched, but not before Hardison had her donut in his hand and was running across Nate's apartment while also trying to shove it in his mouth.</p><p>"That's what happens when you don't play by the rules."</p><p>"Hardison stole my donut!" Parker screeched. She was chasing him across the room, and gaining on him quickly.</p><p>Hardison vaulted over the back of Nate's couch, only to slip and find himself face up on Sophie's lap, her tea soaking into his t-shirt.</p><p>"Hardison!" she screamed. "What are you doing?"</p><p>Not more than three seconds later, Parker came vaulting over the couch, slightly to the right. She landed right in front of Hardison, plucked the donut from his hand, and sauntered away from him.</p><p>"Parker!" Sophie yelled. "Get back here!"</p><p>Parker did no such thing. Instead she sat down at Hardison's computer and began hitting random keys, pecking them violently with her fingertips.</p><p>"Girl! Do you have any idea what you're doing there?"</p><p>"Can't be worse than stealing my donut," she muttered. "Oh!" The computer screen flashed with some long and complicated algorithm that Parker didn't understand, but she figured she'd caused him at <em>least </em>as much pain as he caused her by stealing her food. She jumped up from the desk and began sprinting towards the stairs.</p><p>"Oh no you don't!" Hardison bolted up from where he was sitting and gave chase. He no more than made it to the bottom of the staircase when she flipped over the side and began spider-crawling up the <em>back. side. </em>of the stairs. "What are you even doing?"</p><p>"Avoiding you," she smirked. Parker climbed upright just as she got to the top of the staircase and bent forward, only to run straight into Nate.</p><p>Nate had just woken up. He was not amused.</p><p>"Parker!"</p><p>"I-" she started, but Nate ignored her. He simply pushed her aside and started down the stairs. By then Hardison had wisely gotten himself out of the way.</p><p>On the main floor of his apartment, Nate set himself to making a pot of coffee. Sophie came to stand next to him, and he nearly jumped out of his skin.</p><p>"How long you been standing there?" he asked.</p><p>Sophie leaned close to whisper to him, "They've been fighting all day. I can't take it anymore. Hardison <em>jumped </em>on me. He spilled my tea!" The last sentence didn't quite come out as a whisper, and Hardison snickered from his position at his desk.</p><p>"It isn't funny, Hardison!" Sophie exclaimed. "You ruined my shirt!"</p><p>"Only cuz Parker kept cheating at cards!"</p><p>"Well that isn't my fault. You should have gotten someone else to play with you. She's a <em>thief."</em></p><p>"Like that's an excuse. I'm a thief and I play fair."</p><p>"Maybe don't play cards then."</p><p>"Like there's anything else to do!" Hardison threw his hands in the air, spinning around on his chair. They were all going a little crazy being cooped up in the house. But this was going too far. He couldn't even play a decent game.</p><p>"Maybe <em>hack </em>your way into a government or something. Make Donald Trump think zebras grow their stripes on stripe farms. I don't know!"</p><p>"Yeah, you think that's all I'm good for?" Hardison looked down at his laptop. It was spewing error codes faster than usual. Parker's doing.</p><p>"Parker!"</p><p>She popped up right behind Nate. "What?"</p><p>Nate jumped. Whipped his head around. Parker was standing on one of the bar stools at his kitchen table, a package of gummy frogs in her hand.</p><p>"You wrecked my computer!"</p><p>"So fix it. That's what you do, right?" She ripped open the gummy frogs and began shoving them in her mouth.</p><p>"Those are my frogs!" Hardison screeched. Nate was surprised his voice could get that high. Hardison lunged for Parker from across the room. She was too busy shoving frogs in her mouth to notice, so he managed to grab the barstool she was on in a fantastic running leap.</p><p>The stool, the thief, and the hacker were sprawled across the floor of Nate's kitchen. He'd had enough.</p><p>"That's it," Nate yelled. "Hardison, you sit on that side of the couch. Parker, that side. Neither of you move until I say so." Parker and Hardison looked at him. "NOW!"</p><p>They scrambled to the couch.</p><p>"Hardison hurt me," Parker tattled.</p><p>"Not a word," Nate growled.</p><p>They sat on the couch, making faces at each other. Parker grabbed a napkin from the coffee table to hold to her now-bleeding forehead. Her forced dive from the barstool had smashed her head into the corner of the refrigerator.</p><p>Nate pulled out his phone. Dialed. Said goodbye to his pride.</p><p>"Yeah?" the voice on the other line said. So much for pleasantries.</p><p>"Yeah, so, I know I told you you could take the day for hiking and fishing and all that outdoorsy stuff you like, but I need a favor."</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"I need you to take Parker and Hardison for the day. They've been fighting since the moment they got up, and I can't take it anymore."</p><p>"Are you seriously asking me to <em>babysit?"</em></p><p>"I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate, Eliot."</p><p>"I ain't doin it for free."</p><p>"I'll pay you $50."</p><p>"$5000 and you've got yourself a deal."</p><p>"I'm not gonna pay you five thousand-" Nate sighed. Five grand wasn't that much in the grand scheme of things. He motioned for Sophie to come over. She ignored him.</p><p>"Are you gonna take it or not?"</p><p>Nate sighed again. He seemed to do a lot of that these days. "Deal."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eliot opened the door to Nate's apartment, expecting total chaos. What he found instead was Hardison sitting on one end of Nate's couch, muttering to his laptop about something geeky and Parker perched on the other end, bloody napkins littering the cushions beneath her. Nate and Sophie were sitting on the barstools, nursing mugs of coffee and nibbling some of his homemade banana bread.</p><p>Sophie saw him first. She jumped off her stool and ran to him. "Oh Eliot, thank goodness!" she cried. Then she leaned closer to whisper, "Please take them somewhere. <em>Anywhere. </em>Or I might end up killing them."</p><p>"I heard that," Parker said.</p><p>Eliot sat down next to Nate. "What happened to Parker?" he asked.</p><p>"Got tackled by Hardison."</p><p>Eliot's eyebrows shot up. He wasn't expecting that.</p><p>"What do you want me to do with them? It's not like there's anywhere to go."</p><p>"I don't know. Take them away. Chase them through the park. Dump them in the river. Whatever you want." Nate looked like he'd spent all day fighting some psychopathic creep, but really he'd been up less than an hour.</p><p>The river. Now, there was an idea. Eliot had assumed that babysitting meant his fishing for the day was over. But it didn't have to be. He might not get the peace and quiet he was looking for, but as long as he kept them within his sight, he would probably be able to catch something.</p><p>Eliot stood from the table and opened the fridge. He grabbed a jar of homemade cherry jam, and then reached into the cabinet to get bread and peanut butter. He glanced over his shoulder where Parker and Hardison hadn't moved. "Come on!"</p><p>Eliot began making them peanut butter and jam sandwiches. He personally would never eat one, but he knew they were picky, and he wanted to get back out to the river as quickly as possible. Maybe he'd even let them learn how to fish a bit if they didn't drive him too crazy.</p><p>At the little park by the river, Eliot unloaded his gear for the second time that day. Parker had jumped out before he'd even parked the truck, and Hardison was already perched on a bench, staring at his phone. Eliot shook his head. All this beautiful landscape and the man only looked at his phone.</p><p>"Eliot!" Parker called from the river edge. "How deep is this river?"</p><p>He took a quick scan of the water. Probably about four or five feet where they were. Steeply sloped from shore. He noted a drop-off several yards out. "About to your shoulders."</p><p>"Cool," she said, and before he could say anything else, she kicked off her shoes.</p><p>"Parker, what are you doing?" he asked. She continued stripping her clothing off, until she stood on the river bank in a black sports bra and a pair of Eliot's shorts that were way too big and <em>definitely </em>not given to her.</p><p>Hardison looked up from his phone. Decided it might be fun to join her.</p><p>Parker wasted no time wading into the freezing water of the river. She wasn't really sure if she would be able to swim or not, but wasn't too worried. Eliot said the water would only go up to her shoulders. She turned around, and was pleasantly surprised when she saw Hardison behind her, shirtless and shoeless.</p><p>"Are you really gonna come swimming with me?" Parker asked. She was now up to her hips in the water. Goosebumps pricked her skin; it was a little too cold to swim.</p><p>"Might as well. There's not much else to do," Hardison said. He poked his bare toes into the water. It was <em>freezing. </em>"Maybe not." He backed up.</p><p>"Come on Hardison," Parker whined. "You can chase bad guys all day, face creeps with guns and murderous psychopaths. A little cold won't hurt you."</p><p>"It's a lotta cold, woman."</p><p>Eliot was watching from a little ways down the river. He'd set up his fishing gear, but as soon as Parker started splashing around he realized he wasn't going to catch anything. Instead he pulled a book from his bag. Might as well brush up on his Russian. He leaned back in his chair, the sun warm on his dark hair. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.</p><p>"Hardison, please?" Parker was splashing him from the water. She had yet to go under the surface, but was bouncing on her toes and running her hands through the water.</p><p>He looked at her. She was grinning from ear to ear, her long hair plastered to her back and shoulders. She bounced across the water like the cat-burglar she was. It <em>did </em>look like fun. He'd just have to get past the freezing factor. Hardison cautiously slipped his toes in the water a second time. It was, maybe, a little warmer this time. He took it. After a couple minutes, he was up to his stomach in the water.</p><p>"It's freezing! Oh my gosh! How do you stand this?"</p><p>"It's not that bad once you get moving," she said.</p><p>They took turns splashing each other. Hardison had to admit, this was a lot of fun.</p><p>Hardison turned around to see what Eliot was doing. He appeared to be… sleeping? But this was <em>Eliot. </em>He didn't sleep.</p><p>"Parker," he whispered.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Look." He pointed at Eliot. Yep, he was definitely asleep. His book was on his lap, his chair reclined. His eyes were even closed.</p><p>"I didn't know he could do that."</p><p>"Me either. Wanna get some revenge for forcing us to come out here with him?"</p><p>"It wasn't really him that made us," Parker said. She wasn't sure where Hardison was going with this, but she also knew it wouldn't take much convincing to get her to go along with it.</p><p>"Yeah, but he took five grand from Nate. Like he's babysitting us or something."</p><p>"What's babysitting?"</p><p>"Woman!" Hardison exclaimed. "How do you not know what babysitting is?"</p><p>Parker just stared at him.</p><p>"It's like when parents have to work or are going on a date or something, they pay a teenage girl to watch their kids while they're away."</p><p>"So Sophie and Nate are on a date?"</p><p>Hardison shook his head. He loved her, but she was something else. She a lotta work. He motioned for her to come closer.</p><p>"You know how to squirt water with your hands?"</p><p>"No," she said.</p><p>Hardison bent closer to the water, showing her how to use the palm of her hand to squirt the water up and out of the river. "Now," he said, "aim that at Eliot when I say, and then get outta here as fast as you can."</p><p>"Where are we going?"</p><p>"Other side of the river." Hardison looked towards the other bank. It wasn't that far away. He could swim it quickly.</p><p>"Okay," Parker said. She pranced closer to Eliot.</p><p>"And one, two, THREE!" Hardison whispered. They thrust their hands into the water, and began squirting. Most of them missed their target, but a few landed straight on his face. He woke with a start.</p><p>"Damnit, Hardison!" he growled. In an instant he was on his feet. Shirt and shoes were deposited in a manner that was "very distinctive" of someone who had stripped on the fly many, many times.</p><p>Hardison giggled. He took off in a strong front crawl for the opposite riverbank. Served him right for thinking he was better than them. He looked behind him, surprised Eliot wasn't right on his tail. Hardison shrugged. Turned back towards the other shore. No way he was gonna be caught.</p><p>Instead, Eliot had gone for the easy catch. Parker was still on her toes, trying in vain to run from Eliot.</p><p>"Blame Hardison!" she squealed. "I'm innocent!"</p><p>"Uh huh." He lunged for her.</p><p>"Ahhh!" she screamed, but was cut off as she plunged underwater. Eliot had her in one arm around the waist, and was swimming with the other. His head was above the water, but hers wasn't. She popped her head up a moment later to squeal, "I didn't even know what babysitting was!"</p><p>Eliot's answer was to shove her away from shore. He lifted his eyes from the crazy blonde and looked for Hardison. He spotted him a moment later, when he rose to the surface for a breath. Oh well. He'd deal with him later.</p><p>Parker, meanwhile, realized very quickly she <em>didn't </em>know how to swim.</p><p>"Eliot," she gasped.</p><p>Eliot jerked his head around. Parker's head had dropped from view. He scanned the water quickly. There.</p><p>Somehow, she'd managed to work her way several yards away from him. He dove under. Warnings about not jumping in himself tumbled through his head, but he knew he was a strong swimmer and weighed about thirty pounds more than her. He made a quick grab around her waist, narrowly avoiding a killer kick to the ribs, and pulled her up.</p><p>She didn't look at him or say anything. She just kicked at him, trying to propel herself towards shore. He kept his arm around her waist and brought her to where she could stand. She dropped her feet into the river bottom, but her legs were wobbly and they gave out in less than an instant.</p><p>"Woah," Eliot said. He pulled her back and headed towards shore.</p><p>Parker sat on the riverbank, head between her legs. Every muscle in her body ached. Her legs and arms were shaking. Her heart was racing. There was no amount of physical conditioning that could prepare someone for almost drowning. She'd only been under the water for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity.</p><p>"Parker," Eliot said. "I'm sorry."</p><p>She looked up at him. She'd never heard him say that before. "For what?"</p><p>"For almost killing you." He laughed ruefully. "That's exactly the <em>opposite </em>of what I'm supposed to do."</p><p>"It's not your fault I can't swim." She still hadn't removed her head from between her knees.</p><p>"Woah, what happened?" Hardison came splashing up to them. He heaved himself onto the river bank, and flopped out on the other side of Parker.</p><p>"Eliot tried to sink me."</p><p>"I didn't-"</p><p>"You did <em>what?</em> I was gone for what, ten minutes, and I miss everything? Life just ain't fair."</p><p>"You didn't miss much." Parker looked up at him then.</p><p>"Damn girl, your face is, like, bleeding everywhere."</p><p>Parker brought her hand up to her face. Sure enough, it came back coated in blood. "Huh."</p><p>"Let me see," Eliot said. He tilted her chin towards him with her finger. Used the other hand to poke at her a bit.</p><p>"Ow!"</p><p>"I got some stuff back at Nate's to fix that up for you. Ready to go?"</p><p>"I'm never going swimming again," Parker announced.</p><p>"You could, you know, learn how to swim," Hardison said. He grabbed his and Parker's clothes from their pile by the river. Eliot left them to gather his own things.</p><p>"Nope. Water is evil. Bad."</p><p>Hardison laughed. "Whatever you say." They loaded themselves back into Eliot's truck, and headed towards Nate's.</p><p>"You're soaking wet." Eliot, Parker, and Hardison stood in the doorway to the apartment while Nate paced back and forth, staring at them.</p><p>"What happened?" Sophie came up behind Nate. In front of her was the rest of their team- soaked from head to toe and each in varying states of nudity. She didn't realize they were ruining the carpet.</p><p>"We went swimming." Parker turned her head, noticing a bottle of water sitting on Nate's table. She dove for it.</p><p>Eliot laughed quietly to himself. Swimming did make you thirsty.</p><p>"Are you gonna let us in, or are we gonna stand here in the doorway all day?" Eliot asked.</p><p>Nate stepped aside and let Eliot and Hardison through. Hardison made a beeline for the shower. Eliot reached under the kitchen sink for one of his many first aid stashes.</p><p>"Parker, come here."</p><p>She popped up from behind the table. She had a box of cereal in her hand, and was munching noisily.</p><p>"Lemme see your head."</p><p>"Nope. You already tried to murder me once today. No way you're getting near me with that stinky stuff." She darted out of the room.</p><p>Nate raised his eyebrows. Looked at Eliot. "What did you do?"</p><p>Eliot smiled at Parker, then turned to Nate. "You don't want to know."</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Let's go on an adventure!"</p><p>"Where? Everything's closed," Hardison said.</p><p>"I don't know. Just out. I'm bored."</p><p>"We're all bored, Parker," Nate responded, without looking up from the tablet he was reading from.</p><p>"Actually, I'm doing pretty well," Sophie chimed in. She was sitting in the middle of Nate's living room floor surrounded by dozens of pairs of shoes. She had a shoe organizer laid out in front of her, and she was carefully putting each pair in its proper place.</p><p>"You've been organizing your closet for a week. The rest of us would be done with that in an hour." Hardison closed the door of the fridge after taking one of his last bottles of orange soda.</p><p>"That's," Sophie paused. Looked around. She was the only one that seemed to be doing perfectly fine in this quarantine. It was strange. Nate hadn't seemed to move or sleep in the past few days. He sat on the couch, tablet or newspaper in hand, reading and rereading the headlines. Parker was everywhere. <em>Everywhere. </em>Hardison and Eliot were half-heartedly playing a game of cribbage, and Eliot was winning by a lot. "You're right. Let's go." Sophie stood from her place on the ground.</p><p>"Where are we going?"</p><p>"I have no idea."</p><p>Parker grinned. Jumped down from her perch on the countertop. She ran up the stairs two at a time and came down a minute later, fully dressed and ready to go.</p><p>"Who else is coming?"</p><p>Eliot spread his cards on the table. "Fifteen two, fifteen four, fifteen six, three is twelve, three runs of three is twenty-one." Eliot pegged his points. Hardison stared at him, jaw open.</p><p>"Are you serious? You can only get, like, twenty-four points <em>ever."</em></p><p>"It's twenty-nine."</p><p>"I quit," Hardison muttered.</p><p>"You don't have to quit. I just won."</p><p>Parker suddenly appeared behind Eliot. "Eliot, do you wanna come with us?" she asked.</p><p>He considered it. Parker had been driving him positively insane lately, but so had Hardison. He could sit here, watching Hardison pout, or go for a walk in the cool night air with Parker and Sophie. It would be better, too, if they weren't two attractive girls walking alone at night.</p><p>"I wouldn't mind going for a walk."</p><p>"Yay, Sparky's coming. What about Hardison?"</p><p>"No way, man, there's <em>way </em>too many June bugs out there."</p><p>Parker shrugged. At least she had Eliot and Sophie to go with.</p><p>"Nate?" Sophie asked. He ignored her. "Figures."</p><p>"Eliot, are you ready?"</p><p>Eliot flipped his hood over his head and pocketed the knife he had left sitting on the kitchen table. "Ready."</p><p>"I have no idea which shoes to wear."</p><p>Eliot came over to look down at her collection. There was not a <em>single </em>pair of decent adventuring shoes in there. "Parker," he asked, "do you have any shoes Sophie could wear? I'm not hauling her ass home when she twists her ankle wearing those."</p><p>"Sure." Again, Parker bounced up the stairs with unnatural speed (they had spent all together too much time at Nate's apartment). She returned a bit later with a sweatshirt, jeans, and a pair of sneakers, all Sophie's size.</p><p>"How did you-"</p><p>"Stole the shoes from a store that's been closed for weeks. The sweatshirt was Eliot's, and the jeans I found in the back of Nate's closet. How they got there, I have no idea, but," Parker explained. She tossed them to Sophie, who ducked into the bathroom to change.</p><p>When she emerged, the trio set out.</p><p>"Woah, I haven't been outside in forever," Parker said. She twirled down the sidewalk. "Not since the whole 'Eliot almost drowned me' thing, anyway."</p><p>Eliot ignored her, but Sophie looked sideways at him. "What even happened, anyhow?"</p><p>"Hardison made Eliot mad, but he's a better swimmer than me so he got away and Angry-Eliot accidentally tried to murder me."</p><p>Sophie raised her eyebrow and turned to Eliot. They turned down a side street. There were less street lights here, but still enough light to see by.</p><p>"Sort of. I fell asleep watching them, and I guess they got the bright idea to squirt me in the face. I chased them into the river and grabbed the first of the guilty party I could." He paused. "Didn't know she couldn't swim." Eliot looked at his feet.</p><p>"You can't swim, Parker?"</p><p>"Duh. Otherwise I could have, you know, <em>swam </em>away from him."</p><p>Sophie chuckled. "I don't think you could have outswam Eliot, dear."</p><p>"But I could have tried."</p><p>"If you want, I can teach you to swim." Eliot flipped the hood of his sweatshirt off his head. It was getting warm.</p><p>"As long as you don't drown me again."</p><p>"Parker I didn't drown you!"</p><p>"Fine. Almost drown me."</p><p>"There's something wrong with you."</p><p>"Eliot, Parker, please!" Sophie exclaimed. "I came out here to get some peace and quiet and to get away from Nate. Don't ruin it."</p><p>"Sorry," Eliot muttered.</p><p>The small road they had been walking down ended abruptly in a dead end.</p><p>"Wanna see what's over here?" Parker asked. She gracefully jumped over the end-of-the-road barricade and continued ahead.</p><p>Sophie looked at Eliot. She shrugged. "Might as well. It's not like I'm <em>ever </em>going to do this again."</p><p>Eliot chuckled. Seeing Sophie in jeans and a sweatshirt was quite the sight. He couldn't put his finger on why it looked so weird, but it was downright strange. She had her hair raked into a messy ponytail, and the sleeves of the sweatshirt were frayed. <em>His </em>sweatshirt. Eliot wondered again how Parker managed to swipe his clothes without his knowledge. And, more importantly, why she felt the need to steal them.</p><p>The three of them ducked into the wooded area at the end of the road. They were nearing the industrial part of town. They emerged after a bit on the other side of the woods looking directly down at the highway.</p><p>"Did you know this was here?" Sophie asked.</p><p>"Yeah," Eliot said. "You didn't?"</p><p>Sophie just glared at him.</p><p>They were having quite the difficult time keeping up with Parker. She slid down the steep hill towards the highway with little to no trouble, while Sophie slowly stepped down, step by step. Eliot stayed behind to make sure she didn't slip, but by the time they were halfway down, Parker was at the edge of the road.</p><p>"Wait for us!" he called to her.</p><p>Predictably, she completely ignored him. She waited impatiently for a gap in traffic and then darted to the other side.</p><p>When Eliot and Sophie joined her, Parker began climbing up the steep hill on the other side of the highway.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Sophie asked.</p><p>"On an adventure!" she exclaimed.</p><p>Eliot poured more energy into climbing the hill. It was steeper than the other side, and significantly lighter. They would definitely be seen up here should anyone be looking.</p><p>"Slow down, please, Parker," Sophie said. She was having quite the difficult time navigating the twisty shrubs and grasses that covered the hill.</p><p>"Fine." Parker plopped her butt at the top of the hill and looked out. Cars sped by on the highway below. A man rode by on his bicycle. She could hear the bass of someone's car radio. Rock, she guessed. "Sophie?"</p><p>"Yes, Parker?" Sophie was nearly to the top now. Eliot stood behind her, a hand to her back. It wasn't because she needed it. She had found her climbing groove pretty well. It was just a habit.</p><p>"If Sophie's not your real name, why do you use it?" Parker stood as the other two joined her, and they began walking again.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Like, we use aliases with the marks when we're on the job, or when we're talking to people we don't know or don't like, but even with us you're using Sophie."</p><p>"Because that's what Nate knew her by," Eliot said. He grabbed a tree branch and held it back so that Sophie and Parker could walk ahead unobstructed.</p><p>Parker turned to Sophie, and she nodded. "Exactly. Nate and I have some, erm, interesting history. When we met, I was going by Sophie. It stuck."</p><p>"Do you like it?"</p><p>"The name?"</p><p>Eliot nodded.</p><p>"It's alright. It's a version of me. I've had time to get to know her, build her a life and all,"</p><p>"How's Sophie different from you?" They came up to a wide expanse of train tracks. It was a bridge across the highway they had just crossed. An old train booth sat vacant on the other side.</p><p>Sophie paused to consider this a moment. "Well, for one thing, Sophie's a thief."</p><p>"You're a thief," Eliot said.</p><p>"Yes, but not that kind of thief. Not anymore. I used to steal just to have stuff. Now I work for you guys, and it's a different game."</p><p>"Ain't that the truth," Parker said. She took a running leap and jumped into the nearest tree. Its low branches caught her easily, and she swung so she was looking at them upside down.</p><p>"What else?" Despite himself, Eliot was interested. He'd kept the same name he'd had from birth, but he wasn't the person he knew ten, or even two years ago.</p><p>"Sophie was hopelessly attracted to Nate."</p><p>"Gross," came Parker's voice from the branches.</p><p>"Aren't you still?"</p><p>"It's not the same now," Sophie explained. "Now I feel more like I'm lying to him every time I open my mouth. I'm not Sophie anymore. Haven't been in a long time.</p><p>"And back then, I was attracted to him because he was everything I wasn't. Able to do anything where I was confined to my role, brilliant where I was stupid, an honest man where I was just a common criminal."</p><p>"But now you're both criminals." As always, Parker was <em>super </em>helpful in pointing out the obvious.</p><p>"Now we're different. We play the same side. I know who he is, the things that haunt him, but he doesn't know me. Nobody does, really."</p><p>"There's plenty y'all don't know about me," Eliot said. "Doesn't make me less of a member of the team."</p><p>"Like what?"</p><p>"I vote we keep talking about Sophie."</p><p>"Or we could continue on our adventure." Sophie tightened her ponytail. Eliot still couldn't get over how <em>weird </em>she looked in normal person clothing.</p><p>Parker swung down from the tree, landing silently on the ground. "Wanna see what's in that guard shack?"</p><p>"Parker, I don't think that's a good idea-" Sophie said. But Parker and Eliot were already kneeling in front of the door, picking the lock with one of Parker's handy lockpicks.</p><p>"It's open," she announced after a moment. Eliot stood and motioned for Parker to stand behind him.</p><p>"Seriously?" she muttered, and waltzed in the door. Whatever might be in there could <em>not </em>be worse than almost drowning. Or being stuck in Nate's apartment for weeks on end. Or dealing with Hardison being a poor sport. Or anything they dealt with on a regular basis, really.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It's empty." Parker announced. She stood in the gaping doorway, squinting in.</p><p>"How can you tell? It's pitch black." Eliot shoved her aside and shone his flashlight in front of them.</p><p>The light illuminated a small guard shack that had clearly not been used for years. Instead of holding normal, train-like things, this hut was shoved full of bins and chests and crates. Every imaginable carrier of things was crammed into the tiny guard shack. In one corner was a pile of old chests stacked floor to ceiling. In another sat dozens of wooden crates filled to the brim with papers and notebooks. Across the floor were spilled boxes of kitchen utensils, pots and pans, a brand new coffee maker still in its box.</p><p>"What the hell?" Sophie asked no one in particular.</p><p>Eliot fished two more flashlights out of his pockets and distributed them. He knelt in front of one of the crates. Shuffling through the papers, he leaned closer to get a better look. The words were crammed together and they blurred in front of his eyes. He wished for his glasses.</p><p>"What is it?" Parker asked, suddenly appearing behind him. She was <em>so </em>good at that.</p><p>"Don't know. Some sorta story."</p><p>Parker grabbed the papers from his hand and held them close to her face. She paged through the stack. "It's a collection of old ghost stories. I recognize a few of these."</p><p>"You read ghost stories?" Eliot looked at her, one eyebrow arched.</p><p>"I was bored <em>a lot </em>as a kid," she said.</p><p>He shrugged. Nothing about her really made any sense.</p><p>"Bloody hell!" Sophie screeched.</p><p>Eliot was on his feet in an instant. Instincts never really went away, it seemed. "What is it?"</p><p>Sophie just pointed. She had been searching through the old chests, and had managed to pry one open. Inside were piles and piles of creepy old dolls. The one on top stared straight up out of hazy glass eyes, a long crack in its porcelain face from its forehead to its upper lip. Its hair was at one time blonde and curly, but now looked more like a rat had made its nest in it.</p><p>"Cool!" Parker dove for the open chest and started pulling doll after doll out. "These are so spooky."</p><p>"You know," Sophie started.</p><p>Something about her tone caught Eliot's attention. It was her "I'm hatching an evil plan and everyone's going to hate it" voice. He looked at her coolly. He knew that tone too well.</p><p>"We could have some fun with these," she finished.</p><p>"How would we do that?" Parker asked. She grabbed another doll by its hair. Dust rained down on her jeans, but she paid no mind. This doll was small and looked almost identical to the last one, except it wasn't cracked.</p><p>Sophie and Eliot looked at each other. It clicked in his head a moment later. "Hardison," they said at the same time.</p><p>"What about him?" Parker looked up from the chest.</p><p>"We're talking prank of the century," Eliot said. He struggled to hold onto his grin. This would keep them from being bored for quite a while.</p><p>"How many do you think we'd need?" Parker was still searching through the dolls, but now with a much more analytical eye. She picked out four of the scariest looking ones and placed them in a neat pile by the door.</p><p>"That should be good," Sophie said. "We'll need a story to tell him."</p><p>"Maybe one of the ghost stories Eliot found would have something."</p><p>"I don't think so. There's only haunted houses and trains and stuff."</p><p>"Or we could just put the dolls in different places around Nate's apartment and see what happens," Sophie said. "It would freak anyone out to just have random dolls show up, especially when no one's really left in awhile."</p><p>"That sounds like a better idea." Eliot tossed the stack of papers back into the crate.</p><p>"So we're just going to steal these?" Parker asked. She was still rifling through the chest, picking up doll after doll and looking at it with a sort of sad, totally un-Parker expression.</p><p>Eliot stared at her. "That's what you <em>do.</em>"</p><p>"But these aren't mine."</p><p>Sophie looked down at her. "That's. What. You. Do."</p><p>Parker considered this. Looked at the dolls piled by the floor and strewn haphazardly around her. "But these are someone's dolls."</p><p>Somewhere in Parker's twisted brain, she realized that dolls were important to some people. She didn't realize, though, that <em>these </em>dolls were creepy as all hell, or that nobody had touched them in probable decades.</p><p>"Parker, nobody's touched those dolls in a really long time. And they're all broken and gross."</p><p>"Okay." She began replacing the unclaimed dolls in the chest, but paused halfway through.</p><p>"Can I keep one just for me?" Parker asked.</p><p>"Why would you want one of those?" Eliot asked. She had tried earlier to shove one of the dolls in his arms, but he had jumped back, obviously revolted. Guess they found something the great Eliot Spencer was afraid of.</p><p>"They're pretty," she said, and bent back down to the chest. She rifled through them until she found one that was almost completely destroyed. Its hair was matted into a single clump and its face was a spider web of cracks. One of the eyes was missing from its face. Its clothes were ratty and full of holes and dirt. It was terrifying.</p><p>"Really, Parker? Out of all the dolls, you chose that one?" Sophie looked at it in disgust.</p><p>"Yeah," Parker said, like it was obvious. "Nobody would want her because she's broken. So I'm making sure she has someone."</p><p>Eliot rolled his eyes, but Sophie stumbled on her composure. Parker rarely showed any emotion at all, for anything except money. She didn't usually care about the people she stole from, and it was even rarer for her to care for something like that.</p><p>"Her name is Clarissa," Parker chirped. She held the doll gently in her arms, trying in vain to smooth out the cracks in its face.</p><p>"We should probably get out of here, guys," Eliot said. His flashlight had been flickering for a while, and he was getting uncomfortable. It was just too creepy, being in this random shack full of kids' ghost stories and psycho-looking dolls. It was even creepier the way Parker was talking to and patting her doll.</p><p>"I agree," Sophie said. She bent down to scoop up the four prank dolls, and the trio left the guard shack just as they found it. Except, of course, for some golden pranking material.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"No way! You've had the guest bedroom for <em>two months. </em>It's my turn," Eliot growled.</p><p>"Maybe Eliot and Hardison can share," Parker giggled. She knew that would never work. One of them, almost definitely Hardison, would end up very dead.</p><p>"Shut up, Parker," they said together.</p><p>Parker shut up, and turned back to her cot in the corner of the room. Two cots had been set up behind Nate's desk when they first began quarantining. They were supposed to trade off every week or so, but Hardison always found an excuse to stay in the guest bedroom. Either he was already asleep when they wanted to switch, or he was sore, or he had his electronic thingies everywhere.</p><p>"Guys, please! I was just about to go to bed and now you've gotten me all worked up." Sophie came down the stairs in her nightgown. She was holding an empty glass, intent on refilling it. Guess Nate wasn't the only one with a drinking problem.</p><p>"Hardison won't share," Eliot said. He was sitting on his cot, his legs scrunched up close to his chin.</p><p>Sophie stifled a giggle. He sounded so much like an annoying little kid and nothing like the seasoned combat veteran he was. She had an idea. "Why don't we let Hardison have the guest bedroom one more night. You and Parker can come upstairs with me." She turned on the faucet to refill her water.</p><p>"Ooh!" Parker exclaimed. She bounced off her cot and bounded up the stairs.</p><p>Eliot gave Sophie a look. "I ain't having some kinky sleepover with you and Nate and Parker."</p><p>Sophie chose that exact moment to tap into her people-controlling abilities. Of course she didn't really want to have a sleepover with them any more than he did, but they had… plans… to put in place.</p><p>"Just give me a chance," she said. Then she whispered, "We have things to discuss." She tilted herself so her fingers were resting on his shoulder, and he found himself walking upstairs a moment later. It was amazing how these things <em>always </em>happened to him.</p><p>"Thanks, guys," Hardison shouted from the downstairs guest bedroom.</p><p>Eliot growled, but somehow kept going forward.</p><p>Upstairs, Sophie escorted him to the master bedroom. Parker was already there, perched on the footboard of Nate's bed. Nate was partially clothed, which Eliot guessed could be worse. He stood a bit behind Parker's perch, arms crossed, and Sophie took up her position next to Nate.</p><p>"Sophie?" Nate asked. "What are they doing here?"</p><p>"We have a bit of revenge to plot," she said simply.</p><p>"Oh!" Parker exclaimed, and the momentum of her excitement caused her to fly backwards off the bed. Eliot grabbed her just before she hit the floor, but her foot caught in the intricate metal wiring of the frame, twisting it backwards. She yanked it free, ripping some skin with it, and squirmed out of his grasp.</p><p>"You okay?" he asked, but she ignored him. She hopped on one foot across the hall, to the bathroom only Nate and Sophie used. The bathroom that was a perfect place for hiding some creepy dolls. She returned a moment later, five dolls in her arms and both feet on the floor.</p><p>Nate said nothing, but he looked at Sophie, his eyebrows disappearing behind his hair.</p><p>"Remember when we went on that late night adventure the other day?"</p><p>Nate nodded slowly.</p><p>"We found an abandoned guard shack by the train tracks."</p><p>"And," Parker interrupted. "Inside we found <em>tons </em>of stuff. Books and pots and stories and everything you could imagine."</p><p>"And," Sophie continued, nodding to the dolls. "A chest full of creepy dolls. We're going to use them to prank Hardison."</p><p>Nate closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Why?"</p><p>"Because we're bored," Sophie whined. "Because we've been cooped up in here for months, and there's nothing to do and nowhere to go. And we're bored and lonely and getting desperate for entertainment."</p><p>"And Hardison got me almost drowned, so we need to get revenge."</p><p>"I didn't mean to almost drown you," Eliot grumbled, exasperated. "But yeah, that totally was Hardison's fault."</p><p>Nate looked up and watched as Parker idly stroked one doll in particular's face. It was the ugliest, most broken doll in the bunch. "What are their names?" he asked.</p><p>Parker looked up, surprised. She had doubted Nate would even allow them to continue with the prank, let alone care about their names. Even Eliot looked up, curious.</p><p>"This one's Clarissa," she said, holding up the one she'd claimed for herself. "This one's Alice, this one's Natty, and this one's Beth."</p><p>"What about the last one?" Eliot pointed to the one on the bottom with long brown hair.</p><p>Parker looked at him and smiled. "Her name's Eliotta."</p><p>"That's not even a real name!" He reached for the doll, but she carefully sidestepped him.</p><p>Parker smirked. "It is now."</p><p>"So what are you going to do with them?" Despite himself, Nate was curious.</p><p>"We're not sure. Put them around the apartment, probably."</p><p>Nate reached over to his bedside table and grabbed a tablet. "Here are the controls to the guest bedroom. I had Hardison set this up a while ago." Nate laughed quietly. "Bet he'll regret doing that now. But here's the lights, the temperature, the blinds. Everything." He handed the tablet to Sophie.</p><p>"So Parker, can you break into his room while he's in the bathroom?" Eliot asked.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"We'll put one in his room. One in the kitchen."</p><p>"One in the bathroom," Parker interrupted.</p><p>Sophie nodded. "And one in Lucille."</p><p>"He won't see that one for a while," Nate said.</p><p>"Even better."</p><p>"So," Sophie continued. She was in full planning mode now. "We start with one in the bathroom. Use Nate's creepy tablet to wake Hardison and get him up. While he's in the bathroom, Parker will put one doll in the kitchen and one in his bedroom."</p><p>"Make sure it's not super visible. We don't want him to know we've been in his room," Eliot suggested.</p><p>Sophie nodded again. "I'll put one in the bathroom."</p><p>"You should find it in the bathroom," Parker said. "That way he won't be the only one, and then he won't suspect us."</p><p>"Good idea, Parker."</p><p>"What about us?" Eliot asked.</p><p>"We'll be sleeping up here, you guys stay in your cots. Nothing else can be off."</p><p>"You're going to get Hardison out of the room?" Parker asked.</p><p>"Yes. Parker, why don't you hide the doll in the kitchen on your way down?"</p><p>"Okay. Anything else?"</p><p>"I think that's good. We'll wait until Hardison's asleep to start messing with him. You two head back to bed."</p><p>Parker took Clarissa, Eliotta, and Alice with her and picked her way carefully down the stairs. Eliot followed behind her.</p><p>"You wanna hide her?" Parker asked suddenly, and thrust the brown-haired doll into his hands.</p><p>"Um, sure?" He held the thing away from his body between his thumb and index finger. It didn't even <em>look </em>like him.</p><p>Parker made her way back to her cot. It had become rather cozy over the past few months. She placed Alice and Clarissa carefully underneath her cot. Hardison would never find them there. She laid back and pulled the mess of fuzzy blankets around her.</p><p>Eliot's footsteps sounded behind her a few moments later. He passed her cot on his way to his own, and tossed something at her. It hit her in the shoulder.</p><p>"What?" she asked, but as her fingers closed around the object, she recognized it as one of his many ice packs.</p><p>"Thanks," she whispered, and pressed it to the top of her foot. It felt like heaven.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
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    <p>Parker was woken very suddenly sometime around an hour later by the unmistakable screech of a startled Alec Hardison. She sat up quickly in the cot, slightly confused and disorientated, but settled down a moment later when she felt Eliot's hand on her back. He leaned around to look her in the eyes, a finger to his lips. It was go time.</p><p>From what they could tell, the scream had come from the kitchen. They crouched behind Nate's desk, straining to see. Sure enough, Hardison was backed against the kitchen island, staring at a particularly dark spot on the counter. If she squinted, Parker could just make out the little booties on Eliotta's feet.</p><p>"Go," Eliot whispered in her ear. He backed away from her, stood, and headed into the kitchen in what he hoped was a convincingly groggy stupor.</p><p>Parker darted around the corner and down the hall, Alice in her hand. The ice had made her foot feel a hundred times better, and now it only ached a bit where the skin was rubbed away. She glanced down and noticed the thin stripe of blood. Oops.</p><p>Inside the guest bedroom, Parker paused. It was <em>trashed. </em>Candy wrappers littered the floor around the bed. A stack of all things electronic was piled on the dresser, and clothes were strewn across the floor. It definitely looked like Hardison had been living there for the past two months. Well, she thought, Eliot definitely wouldn't want it now.</p><p>She looked around for a spot to put Alice, and settled after a moment on propping her against the pile of electronic thingies, facing slightly away from the bed. She picked up the first piece of clothing she could find on the floor, and draped it across the doll so it was only partially visible.</p><p>Eliot, meanwhile, put on a pretty good performance stumbling into the kitchen and looking alarmed by Hardison's scream.</p><p>"What is it, man?" he asked. He did his best to conjure the seriousness he usually held when one of the team's members was in trouble.</p><p>"There's a creepy, freaking," Hardison stuttered. He pointed. Eliotta sat on the counter, a small paring knife balanced in her hands. Her dress was bunched on her lap, and her head was twisted to the side.</p><p>Eliot struggled to fight back a laugh. He really had outdone himself with the paring knife. Instead, he arranged his face into a scowl and let his hours and hours of practice at being a grouch filter through.</p><p>"Dammit, Hardison! We're trying to sleep!"</p><p>"Well I'm sorry, man, there's this creepy freaking doll just sitting here, and I was hardly expecting it and," Hardison continued, but Eliot cut him off.</p><p>"I don't care if freaking <em>Godzilla </em>is in here. The only approved Eliot-waking scenarios are," he paused and looked at Hardison. The entire team had had this drilled into their heads over and over after he'd been woken up for spiders, missing objects, and late-night scotch runs to the bar.</p><p>Hardison rolled his eyes, but recited, "Sterling. Goons of any sort. Fire. And any life-threatening injuries or illnesses."</p><p>Eliot nodded. "And where do dolls fit into that list?"</p><p>Hardison considered. "They're life threatening. I almost had a <em>freaking heart attack, </em>man."</p><p>Eliot rolled his eyes and turned around to hide the grin he couldn't contain anymore. Without turning back to Hardiosn, he grumbled, "Just don't do it again," and headed back towards his cot. On the way, he passed the counter where the doll sat and slipped it into the pocket of his hoodie.</p><p>Parker had returned to her cot, and was trying to appear like she was sleeping, but she was too excited to sit still. A moment later, Sophie came padding down the stairs.</p><p>"Hardison, whatever's going on down here?" she asked, pulling a truly convincing Sleepy-Sophie. She carried her water glass, empty again, in one hand, and from where they were, Eliot and Parker could not see Natty at all.</p><p>"There was a freaking creepy doll on the counter, holding a knife."</p><p>"Hardison, Hardison, it was probably just a trick of the light. Nobody would put dolls in here just to scare you." Sophie's drawl really helped sell it, and Parker and Eliot had to stifle a giggle.</p><p>"It's right there," Hardison squeaked, and turned around. The doll was missing. In fact, right at that moment, it was safely stowed under Eliot's cot.</p><p>Sophie followed his gaze. "There's nothing there, Hardison."</p><p>She left a bewildered Hardison to stare at the air in the kitchen, and went into the bathroom. Hardison was far too preoccupied with the whole "disappearing doll" thing to notice how utterly peculiar it was that Sophie would be using the downstairs bathroom when one was perfectly available upstairs.</p><p>A moment later, Sophie let out an ear-piercing shriek.</p><p>Out of pure instinct, Eliot jumped up from his cot. He joined Hardison on his way to the bathroom, and together they pushed through the semi-ajar door.</p><p>All cons, it appeared, were about getting the mark worked up enough to miss the minor details. Like Sophie leaving the door open to pee.</p><p>"What is it, Sophie?" Eliot asked.</p><p>"She said nothing, but pointed to the vanity. Natty was standing up on her own, and appeared to be looking into the mirror. Her face was reflected in the glass, so it appeared in the dim light that there were two of them.</p><p>Eliot rolled his eyes, but said nothing.</p><p>"I told you man, I told you! Someone's broken in here and put all these creepy things in the apartment." He turned to Eliot. "That's a Wake-Eliot scenario, right?"</p><p>"If it doesn't involve Sterling, goons, fire, or bodily harm, I'm out."</p><p>"Seriously?" Sophie said. She looked at him. "So now there's conditions on you protecting us?"</p><p>Eliot just sighed and left them for his and Parker's makeshift bedroom. One more doll to go.</p><p>In the bathroom, Hardison picked up the doll and inspected it. He looked at Sophie. "This thing is creepy, right?"</p><p>"No kidding," she said. "But I'm sure whoever did it is gone. I'm gonna head to bed now." To add to her performance, she yawned loudly, and trudged back up the stairs.</p><p>Hardison, suddenly alone in Nate's bathroom, dropped the doll on the vanity and got the heck out of there. He made a beeline for his own room, and dove under the covers.</p><p>It wasn't until he was entirely comfortable and nearly asleep that he spotted the third doll, Alice, nestled against his pile of laptops and tablets.</p><p>"Oh, hell no," he muttered.</p><p>Hardison pried himself out of bed. He wasn't going to scream this time, but that thing certainly couldn't watch him while he slept. As he grabbed it, he noticed it was covered partially by a pair of his used underwear.</p><p>Huh. No enemy of theirs would cover their crimes. <em>Especially </em>with used underwear. He briefly imagined Sterling breaking into Nate's apartment, a pile of old and creepy dolls under his arm, grabbing Hardison's underwear to cover the doll. Nope. That wasn't disturbing <em>at all. </em>It must have been someone there.</p><p>It wasn't Nate. Nate had barely moved in the whole two months of the pandemic so far. He was stoic and silent and only voiced his opinion when one of them wanted to go out. The answer, of course, was always no.</p><p>It wasn't Sophie. Probably. She had been the one to find the second doll. Then again, what was she doing using the downstairs bathroom? Sophie was a maybe.</p><p>That left Eliot and Parker. And the only one of them he hadn't seen that night was Parker. Of course.</p><p>He tiptoed out of the room and down the hall to where Eliot and Parker's cots were set up, doll in hand. He was going to confront them here and now, even if it broke the "Waking-Eliot-Scenarios" rule.</p><p>"Parker," he hissed. This would go <em>much </em>better for him if he didn't wake Eliot.</p><p>She sat up and looked at him.</p><p>"Was this you?" He held the doll up where she could see it.</p><p>She shook her head.</p><p>"Then who?"</p><p>She made a motion to indicate she wasn't ratting anyone out.</p><p>"Fine," he hissed. "I'll ask Eliot."</p><p>"Okay," she whispered. "It was his idea."</p><p>"Seriously?" Hardison asked. He was surprised. Usually Eliot didn't deal with them when they were pranking each other. He <em>never </em>expected him to be on the front lines of what was probably the best prank so far.</p><p>"I found them. Eliot and Sophie planned it." Oops. Parker clamped her hand over her mouth. Eliot wasn't going to be happy when he found out she ratted him out.</p><p>"Wait, Sophie?" Hardison's voice was rising above a whisper. Into a squeak.</p><p>Parker nodded. She was focused on getting out of there before Eliot got his hands on her.</p><p>Too late. She jumped as he grabbed her gently around the waist so he had her back to his chest. He lifted her off her feet easily, and decided to just leave her there. She kicked out, but only managed to contact air.</p><p>"Tattletale," he hissed in her ear.</p><p>"You started it," she whisper-shouted back.</p><p>"Ladies, ladies, can't we all just agree that Parker did the right thing by telling Hardison who is responsible?"</p><p>Eliot dropped Parker. He had barely had a hold on her, and she could have broken free if she wanted to. Now, though, his attention was solely on Hardison.</p><p>Realizing this, Hardison backed up, out of the makeshift bedroom.</p><p>"I ain't mad," he squeaked.</p><p>"They're gonna get you," Eliot growled, and pulled two of the dolls from behind his back. He thrust them into Hardison's face.</p><p>Hardison shrieked. Turned to run away. Ran straight into Sophie, who was standing right outside, watching. She giggled to herself. Sometimes she really did feel like a mother.</p><p>"You did this," Hardison shrieked at her. "This is your fault." Eliot caught up with him and shoved one of the dolls in his face.</p><p>Sophie couldn't contain herself anymore. She started laughing. Soon Eliot joined. Parker's giggles could be heard from the darkness. Even Hardison stopped shrieking and trying to get away from Eliot long enough to snicker. Parker appeared beside them, and the group dissolved into laughter. It had been a fantastic prank.</p><p>Hardison reached for the dolls in Eliot's hands, and lost his balance when Eliot moved out of his way. Hardison toppled over, taking down Parker and Sophie with him. That only made them laugh harder. Eliot stayed on his feet a few moments longer, but even he ended up pulled down to the ground, a combined effort by Hardison and Parker.</p><p>Nate stood at the top of the stairs, watching. He'd never seen his team behave so much like children, but instead of revolting and annoying him like he thought, he found the entire scene endearing. They were all lying on the floor in a pile, laughing harder than he'd ever seen them laugh. The dolls were cast aside. None of them were dressed presentably. Parker's foot was in the air and her head was rested on Eliot's butt. Hardison was laying on the ground, sprawled out over Sophie, who had the dignity to at least try to sit up. They were loud and reckless and their hair was everywhere. A head of blonde popped up, only to be shoved back down again. Even Eliot was laughing.</p><p>This. This is why he spent his days reading the news. Obsessing over it. Why he insisted they stay quarantined, even though much of the world had been ignoring it. Because he was given this team on a whim, as a trick. It was a one-time only affair. <em>No encores. </em>They were supposed to have been taken away from him. Hell, if things had gone according to plan, they would be dead. But somehow, be it luck or fate or plain dumb chance, he had them. They meant the world to him, and there was no way he was going to let them go.</p>
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